During the L2012 Olympics and Para Olympics the term PB (or personal best) was raised and talked about constantly. In the quiet early light of day as I head for New York I begin to wonder what this means to us as individuals. My life has been full of firsts, most notably I am the first person to create and sustain a career as a Solo Percussionist. However I have never quite thought about my achievements as personal bests. I always try to do my best at everything I get involved with and I definitely know there are some things that I am never going to be brilliant at, like maths for example!
I am also competitive and like to win if I play scrabble or monopoly and I remember fondly the arguments I had with my brothers when we tried to beat each other at various games.
The need to achieve seems to creep into so many aspects of our daily lives. As the car I am in heads towards the airport, I can see people around me trying to overtake, change lanes, weave in and out of lanes to gain a bit of an advantage. I am not sure why this happens perhaps you know? Everyone seems to be trying to get ahead, in front, or just overtake to arrive a bit sooner, get that favourite parking spot or avoid delays further down the road.
Right on the back of the Olympics Britain is celebrating yet another incredible achievement from our very own Andy Murray. Andy has finally won his first Grand Slam and it makes me so proud, I am enjoying his achievement too - Well done Andy!
The psychology behind achievement is just as interesting. We may all have sensed a great day or a special feeling or simply a resounding YES! when we have achieved our goal. But how many of us actually set out to create and beat our own aims and objectives mentally? In my normal working day I often think about how much rehearsal time I want to achieve or perhaps I might want to ensure that I have got to grips with a set piece of music and as I break it down I set myself the challenge of making sure that I do not leave the studio until I have mastered a particular section. I find this is good practice but as I reflect on the due processes that I put into action I guess I am constantly trying to create and maintain a sense of achievement.
The best bit is when I finally get it right I reward myself with a cup of coffee and a piece of shortbread!
For my next performance there is technically no need for rehearsal but there is still a challenge. I will be improvising with the wonderfully talented Zeena Parkins at the Skirball Centre, NewYork as part of the Joshua Light Show. Improvisation can be just as nerve racking as a concerto and my excitement is already mounting as I think about meeting Zeena for the first time and working out how we can improvise together!
I genuinely want to know what your PB's are, however great or small, I know when you achieve something it will make you feel good and that has to be a good thing. Good luck and please join me on my Facebook where I will try and respond to as many of you as possible.
Years ago I saw you perform in Santa Barbara, at the Lobero Theater. The next day you gave a master class, which I crashed because I was fascinated with you and just wanted to hear anything you had to say, whether I understood it or not. One of your students was a timpanist, and you gave him a very particular bit of instruction. You taught him to remain conscious of his actions, even when he was not playing, to make setting down one set of sticks and picking up another not just part of the performance but part of the music. The implication for me was that, not only is silence part of sound, not only is void part of substance, but composition extends beyond what is written. That exchange has stayed with me, all these years. I think there is something profound in what you taught that young man. I relate it, in my own life, to the ways in which I intermittently relinquish my grasp on the moment. Immediately a voice in my mind objects that such an attitude can be taken too far, that I do not want to invite an authoritarian attitude into my relationship with myself. And there is a valid concern there, a caution to exert one's disciplines with moderation. But I think it's still valuable to look at one's life, one's day, one's time, even the composition of one's consciousness, as a work of art, a conscious work of art, the creation of which extends ever into the unknown, beyond what is understood and composed. When I fall from my heights, when I lose hold of an advantage, some treasure which has filled me with joy -- a broken relationship, a failed business venture, a death -- it is myself I fall through. Whatever my logistical relationship to external reality, the void is internal. If I do not catch myself, where do I land but in the basement of my own being? Among all of my miseries and objections. I might say as well among my tools. The sticks I pick up in one place and put down in another, in between the sounding of notes. Personal best might be viewed as a kind of distilled attitude, a degree of willing awareness. Inclusion in my beloved composition of the details the devil inhabits, the immediate and vigilant defiance of entropy. Something like that. With an ameliorating dose of kindness in the mix, of compassion and understanding. Forgiveness can be a defiant act.
ReplyDeleteMy PB is getting into a conservatoire, and I really couldn't have done it without having listened to your music. Plus I read a bit of your book Good Vibrations before each audition which was a great aid in calming nerves as you are so practically minded and cheerful!
ReplyDeleteWell done you!!! I am sure that my contribution was minimal and your will power has seen you through!
DeleteI recently wrote a piece for SATB and String Qt or Ch Orch. My mentor listened to my MP3 and pdf score and announced that he thought it was ready to present to the local oratorio society for consideration. I was glad he thought so but deep inside I had reservations. So, a month later I have combed through it and now I believe it is ready. It took some soul searching for me to go counter to my mentor's opinion but in the end I had to remain true to my inner voice; my interpretation of Personal Best.
ReplyDeleteEvelyn, I learned about you a few years ago when that mentor, Ivan Trevino (Hochstein School of Music, Roch, NY) suggested I listen to you on YouTube. I have returned to YouTube often to listen to your performances. Last night I listened to your TED presentation on "Listening". I finished listening much after my bedtime and returned to it this morning. I looked up your website and have been reading your blogs along with listening and checking out your links. The holistic approach you take to performance (also applicable to composition) spoke to me; like taking into account non mechanical considerations (who is going to "listen" to the music, and how). I especially appreciated your comments on the experience of how an instrument sounds to each listener in the different halls it is played. (Yes I got on the floor and listened while I reached up and played my marimba. Granted it was one note but I heard what you said about the difference in the sound heard depending on your location.)
Your persuasive argument, at age 12, to the faculty of a music school which eventually led to your admission and to access for people with different abilities into the United Kingdom's music institutions spoke to me. I applied your example to my experience in a small way. I did not pursue a career in composition until my retirement due to pursuing other career choices. I found an openness in today's "new music" world that was not the case in the 60's when I was an aspiring composer.
Watching your presentation on TED has been a significant experience for me. Thank you for your work.